As wrong as Akon in Trinidad

Hey pumpkins,
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! Why? My sassy new teen novel, IT CHICKS, has been in bookstores for a month...and it's already selling out everywhere!! It's all because of my SYB Babes, I just know it. Of course, I don't even have time to die of happiness (or properly celebrate Jaslene's win), since my every waking hour is spent writing IT CHICKS Book #2. A couple posts back I cheated a bit by asking you to send in some plot ideas--and I promised to send my favorite ladies a signed copy of IT CHICKS, remember? Well, join me in congratulating the following literary geniuses on their brilliance: Malikah, Shay, Rukiya, Candice, Schanina, Aderonke, Zena, and Julie "Fergie-Ferg" Ferguson (and a couple others who asked not to be mentioned, as their bosses might not love finding out that they play on SYB all day)!! Check out some of their positively soap operatic plot points:

* Eden gets dissed by the rapper (can't remember his name) but gets invited to do a tell all on Wendy Williams!

* Some rival girls pour paint on each of the It Chick's cars in the middle of the night. The next morning the It Chicks, along with their parents, discover the scandalous event, and compare notes. And while they have a good idea of who committed the crime, the It Chicks decide to show up at school looking more fabulous than ever, laughing and carrying on in the hallway as if nothing happened....defying the evil doers instant gratification...until, of course, it's time for appropriate payback. [THIS REALLY HAPPENED TO THE WRITER. HAVE YOU EVER?]

* On a drunken rampage C.J. lashes out at Trey for "stealing his woman,yo."

* Tangie gets a once in a lifetime chance to spend a summer overseas training with the dance teacher of her dreams. Unfortunately, her mom/close relative falls ill, and she must choose between pursuing her dream or sacrificing the opportunity to be there for her family.

* Regina is starting to have second thoughts about being a full on lesbian and is becoming atracted to Nick. She starts to think that maybee she realy is bi just like he said. She decides to have Izzy give her a complete make-over from her hair to her face and,of course, her wardrobe. And of course, she turns out looking fabulous and better than ever.

Oh, I'm tickled pink by the brilliance!! But enough about me. Let's talk about you. Your beauty questions have been piling in, and I'm wrong--wronger than Akon in Trinidad--for not answering them sooner. Here, I solve your catastrophic cosmetics conundrums and it's about time. Love you madly!

xoxo,
T-Pain (not of "Buy you a Drink" fame but of the migraine kind)

YOUR TOP 5 BEAUTY ISSUES OF THE WEEK

SYB BABE: Bashful Beauty
QUESTION: "I'm getting married September 1st and I was curious about what scent is appropriate for the day? Me no likey Vera Wang. But I want to stand out!!"
TIA SAVES THE DAY: I agree, I think Vera Wang is a leetle too..."Arggh, I'm the bride, beeyatch!!" Way agressive. A fabulous alternative is Lovely by Sarah Jessica Parker ($49.50). I know, I know, celebrity fragrances are beyond gauche--but SJP's sweet, sophisticate, just-exotic-enough scent is totally the exception. A super-pretty blend of lavender, orchid, paper whites and musk, the fragrance is romantic enough for your Big Day, but sexy enough for a throw-me-against-the-wall honeymoon. Congratulations, Bashful Beauty!! Send us pictures!!


SYB BABE: Lakrishia
QUESTION: "I'm attending the NABJ conference in August. It's in Las Vegas, so it's gonna be obscenely hot. Also, I want to make a good impression on the magazine industry people, but my advisor wants students to err on the side of overdressing. How do I balance being stuffy with being fresh and magazine-staff ready? Please offer some suggestions for a grad student's budget!"
TIA SAVES THE DAY: NABJ stands for National Association of Black Journalists and their annual summer conference is a big honkin' deal (particularly if you're a hot-to-network recent college grad). And yet I'm always surprised by the number of eager young networkers in boxy, ill-fitting suits and church shoes (perhaps they're in cahoots with your advisor?). Here's the thing, Kreesh. Journalism is a creative industry..."stuffy" is so not the order of the day! In fact, you'll get more attention for being relaxed, fashionable, CHIC. Skip the suit and pack crisp summer dresses, simple jewelry and killer heels. I'm really into the Cotton Chino Dress ($128, above) from Banana...pair it with a cheap woven belt from Forever 21, and you're good.

On a budget note, try Style & Co's Linen Shirtdress (on sale for $51.75)...it's super-fresh and hip, but still manages to mean business. Hate dresses? Go for tailored wide-legged slacks with a sweet, cap-sleeved blouse.




SYB BABE: Anonymous
QUESTION: "My face is having "fits." My parents have lovely skin, but when it comes to me...there seems to be no hope. I'm on meds now for my skin. Have you ever had any issues with your skin? For once in my life, I'd like to feel beautiful."
TIA SAVES THE DAY: Sugar, you're killing me! You are beautiful, "fits" or no. SYB does not attract ugly readers. Quick story: The other day, I was speaking to a high school class and this darling girl told me her Proactive wasn't working. I asked her if she was using the whole system--the cleanser, toner and lotion--and, of course, she said no. Girls, no matter what acne regimen you're on, it's sooo important to A.) use ALL the products and B.) stick with it. Even Proactive, which I believe is magic (my husband doesn't leave home without it), doesn't work if you don't do it right. Now, to answer your question about the state of my complexion...when I was 22 I had severe adult acne. But I used Neutrogena and, as I live in breathe, it SAVED MY FACE. Here's how: In the morning and night, wash withNeutrogena Oil-Free Acne Wash Daily Scrub ($6.29, above), and moisturize with Neutrogena Rapid Clear Acne Defense Lotion ($6.65). And at night, in-between the cleanser and moisturizer, tone with Neutrogena Clear Pore Oil-Controlling Astringent ($4.49). Your face will feel dry at first, but keep the faith!!!


SYB BABE: Brown Shuga
QUESTION: "The guy that I am dating would like for me to ask you what you would recommend for ingrown hairs on his neck and face."
TIA SAVES THE DAY: Well, BS, it's all about Tend Skin ($20)!! This stuff is like the Holy Gail for black men...who, though adorable and we love desperately, suffer razor bumps in a major way (it's because their hairs curl back into their skin...straight-haired folk don't really have this problem). Chock full of pore-unclogging salicylic acid and, weirdly enough, aspirin (surprise, it's an anti-inflammatory!), this stuff clears up bumps and ingrown hairs seemingly overnight. But here's the funny thing. Besides black men, guess who else loves Tend Skin? You guessed it, our Sisters on the Pole...because this stuff is heaven on the bikini line! Starting the day after you wax or shave, soak some up in a cotton ball and swipe along the area. PS...it also comes in deodorant form, which is great if you get bumps or rashes under your arms.


SYB BABE: Bijoux
QUESTION: "I'm graduating in a couple of weeks--what type of make-up I should go with? My gown is "Barney" purple, but I really wanted to go glow-y and radiant to bring out my brown skin. Any suggestions?"
TIA SAVES THE DAY: No one wears glowy and radiant like a brown girl!! Here's how you get glowing: On your eyes, go with a soft, luminous copper on the lids and a champagne shade on the brow-bone (try Smashbox Eyelights in Beam ($34, above). On your cheeks, you MUST go for Tarte's Cheekstain in Sunkissed ($28)--dab a bit of this bronzey push-up gel stick on apples of your cheeks, blend with your fingers, and glow, glow, glow! On your lips, all you need is a sheer pinky-brown shimmer gloss--right now, I'm way into Talk Smart Lipgloss in Soledad ($16), which smells inexplicably and deliciously like an orange creamsicle.

The Girl With the Big Chin's Arse

Hola SYB Babes,
My, my, my, it's been such a busy week for me! First and foremost, I have to thank all of you who turned out for my sassy lil' shopping soiree at Te Cacan. So , Soho's uber-glam designer shoe emporium. Not only did I get to meet SO many fabulous ladies, I had the distinct honor of picking out my ten favorite shoes in the store!!

Aren't the red patent leather platforms just EVIL (you should've seen the "smiling graciously through the pain" look on my face when I realized that my picks were for promotional purposes only, and I wouldn't be taking them home)?! The party was also notable because it was another chance to wear my New Year's dress! At first, I was a tad hesitant to so publicly rock the same frock twice, but my stylist/designer friend Kibwe offered these wise words: "Why wear a new dress you just feel 'eh' about, when you could wear an old-faithful that you KNOW curls your toes?" Very sage, indeed.


Speaking of soirees, last week I was thrilled to attend the be-all end-all of book parties! It was for my darling friend Erika Kendrick's very first novel, CONFESSIONS OF A ROOKIE CHEERLEADER ($11.86)(there we are together--please excuse my Dynasty-era makeup, I'd just wrapped up an MSNBC segment on Le Scandale herself, Miss Antonella Barba). If you haven't heard of her yet, just you wait, Missy--Erika is about to be a staaah! Forget the fact that she's gorgeous, she's also a Stanford grad, a former NBA cheerleader for the Chicago Bulls, president of the NYC chapter of NABFEME, and a former exec at Island Def Jam...and now, she's written this Spring's juiciest piece of chick lit yumminess. It's all about Hannah Love, a 28-year old record exec who, after her fiancé is caught cheating, pursues her dream of becoming a Chicago Diamonds cheerleader. Not only does she kill the audition, she soon embarks on a super-juicy affair with Max Knight, the Diamond’s star player. Totally delicious, totally funny, and if you're anything like me, you'll picture Max as Chris Weber. Girls, join me in applauding this dynamic diva on her very first book--it's a huge accomplishment, and it couldn't have happened to a girl with sexier hair.

And now, on to your questions! I promised you ladies that I'd do a Q&A this week, and OMG, it was so hard narrowing it down to just five. Before I start, I just wanted to quickly address a few non-beauty related issues:

SYB BABE: Glib Gurl
QUESTION: "Can you tell us more about the "IT CHICKS" project you are working on? Sounds interesting!"
ANSWER: I can and will, Darling GG, in my next post! I was deliberately holding off gushing to death about my new book, IT CHICKS, until closer to the launch (more exciting that way)...and now that we're just weeks away, Mama thinks it's time. Oooh, you're gonna LOVE it :-)

SYB BABE: Monica
QUESTON: "I met you at last year at Howard University's Cover to Cover spring conference. I was looking forward to seeing you again this year, but sadly you were MIA. You had so much valuable info last year!"
ANSWER: Oh, Monie-Love. I'd totally planned to speak at this years Cover to Cover conference, but then at the very last minute, I had a ridiculous personal drama and had to cancel! DEVASTATION. But I promised Cover to Cover that I'd come back sometime before the end of the year to chat with you guys. Would goodie-bags filled with lip gloss make it up to you?

SYB BABE: Dr. MIke
QUESTION: "Greetings, I am a fan of yours. You are exceptionally beautiful! I am redecorating my offices and would love to have a personalized autographed photo(s) of you to display. It would be great! Thank you for your time and consideration."
ANSWER: Um, no.

Finally, here are the top five questions of the week! Enjoy, Pretty Girls.

Love,
Tia

PS: Who's addicted to Becky from The Agency? "I'm sorry, but she thinks the sun shines out of the girl with the big chin's arse!" Love her. And her walk is FIRE.


YOUR TOP FIVE BEAUTY QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK

SYB BABE: Anonymous
QUESTION: "I don't wear make-up very often and when I was headed to the MAC counter, at my local department store, to replace my pressed powder I found out that (horror of all horrors) they no longer make pressed powder!!! I have been holding on to my compact in NW45 for far too long and now, w/o it, I am lost in the beauty wilderness. Do you have any suggestions for an alternative?"
ANSWER: Darling, you are SO lucky that the geniuses at THREE CUSTOM COLOR SPECIALISTS (3C) are, in fact, geniuses. 3C was started by a fabulous celeb makeup artist and fellow brown-girl goddess, Trae Bodge, who was tired of makeup companies discontinuing her favorite products. The specialists can reproduce virtually any lipstick, foundation, concealer, blush, powder, or eyeshadow that's ever been created (not to mention, they have a fabulous house cosmetics line, too)! To order a new version of your beloved MAC Pressed Powder, simply send in a sample in a plastic baggie (a pressed powder compact is $36.50)...they can even make you a matching concealer and foundation. And the best part is, they'll keep your personal "recipe" on file forever, so you can make as many re-orders as you want. Sweet, right?
OR
If you're looking for a quick fix, I'm a fan of COVER GIRL QUEEN COLLECTION POWDER SHINE CONTROL FOUNDATION ($6.99)—they come in nine spot-on shades that flatter deeper skin tones.


SYB BABE: Melissa
QUESTION: "How do you wear your hair for those last 1-2 days before your next appointment? When it's a bit too dirty and lifeless to really style? I read that a ponytail is like giving up, so I've been avoiding that and try to rock a simple french braid instead. Now I'm starting to get tired of that. Any suggestions?"
ANSWER: Just say no to the french braid, Melly-Mel! It's cute if you're just hanging out at home, but anywhere else you're bordering on dangerous "Kmart shopper" territory. I totally feel your angst, though—and I've definitely found success with the following quick-fix 'do's:
1.) The Pony/Headband Combo (as seen on Miss Hillary, above): Just a plain ponytail is kind of blase, but if you slide on a skinny headband, suddenly then it's totally chic!
2.) The Milkmaid Moment, or The "Heidi": This boho-luxe style is everywhere...Sienna Miller rocked it grecian-style at the Golden Globes, and Mary J. sported it on her latest album cover. If you have long hair, part it down the middle and create two low Pocahantas braids (if you have short hair, use those cheap, drugstore clip-on ponytail extensions). Then wrap braids around the top of your head, securing with pins.
3.) The Double-Bun: Ooooh, this is my FAVORITE. Without fail, I'm rocking the Double-Bun the last three days of my blowout. Simply create two low pigtails, leaving out bangs or long layers in the front. Coil each ponytail into a messy bun, securing with pins (don't worry if some pieces fall out--it's cuter that way!). Finally, swoop the front pieces behind your ears, or leave out for an "oh, I just woke up this way" situation.


SYB BABE: Anonymous
QUESTION: "I have a serious question about moisturizing skin care. Do you have a recommendation for a really good (GREAT), rich, mid-priced (not La Mer) and easy-to-apply moisturizer for my peeling and parched skin?? Thanks!!"
ANSWER: I love, love, love Kohl's Grassroots all-natural skincare line. I know, I know, it's seems weird to buy skincare from a huge superstore chain, but believe me, this stuff is golden. Like you, Anonymous, my skin gets ridiculously parched and tight and flaky in the winter. Clearly, I need a rich moisturizer, but it's a fine line--if it's too rich, hello zits. That's why GRASSROOTS' vitamin-packed WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING OVERNIGHT MOISTURE CREAM ($17) is so fantastic--it's super-hydrating, but it's oil-free and non acnegenic. And it smells like a mix of baby-freshness and just-baked sweets, due to the blend of Siamese bergamot and Madagascan vanilla. Because of Grassroots, applying moisturizer is now a PLEASURE.


SYB BABE: Tami
QUESTION: "I keep hearing about primer and have finally decided to invest in some. Can you please recommend a good brand to use?"
ANSWER: I have to be honest with you, Sugar. For a long time, I thought primers were totally useless, sort of a beauty urban legend (I feel similarly about toners, cellulite creams, and mustache bleach). It wasn't until I started wearing tons of foundation for my In Touch Weekly TV appearances that I understood the hoopla. A good primer, like NARS MAKEUP PRIMER ($33), acts as a base layer underneath foundation, preventing it from smearing, creasing or separating. Not only that, it seals in moisture for hours, curing the weird dry skin I sometimes get when I wear foundation for too long. You can also wear NARS PRIMER alone, since it smooths out skin and fills in fine lines, creating a faux-natural, polished look. On a budget? Try SMASHBOX PHOTO FINISH FOUNDATION PRIMER TO GO ($15.50).


SYB BABE: Dry Blah Winter Skin Girl
QUESTION: "Can you tell me how Gabrielle Union's skin always looks so luminous? Kelly Rowland also manages this too. No matter what the time of year or event they just seem to glow. How can I get it for myself?"
ANSWER: Guess what, DBWSG? Mama has the perfect radiant-skin recipe (the most faithful SYB'ers know this one by heart, but since so many of you have begged me to unlock the mystery of the Faux-Glow, I decided it wouldn't hurt to go there again). Here's all you need to fake a luminous complexion: Blend a creamy, yellow-based concealer over undereye circles, blemishes, and any other imperfections. I absolutely WORSHIP PHILOSOPHY SUPERNATURAL AIRBRUSHED COLOR CORRECTOR IN DARK ($25)—the pallette comes with three different colors, so you can custom-blend your perfect shade. Next, use a big, fluffy brush to lightly sweep LAURA MERCIER SHIMMER LOOSE POWDER IN STAR DUST ($34) all over your face (you'll looove Star Dust...it's a sheer, silky powder containing special light-reflecting pigment that gives skin a gorgeous, soft-focus glow). Voila! Skin so good your man will wonder where you spent last night. To complete the dewy, fresh-faced look, apply three coats of volumizing black mascara, an russet blush, and sheer bronzey gloss.