Monday, April 30, 2007

The Mane Event

Hi SYB Babes!!
How are you? I've missed you terribly...sorry I've taken so long to holler, but I've been in and out of town for the past couple of weeks, doing IT CHICKS stuff. Thank you so much for all your enthusiastic responses...I print them all out and put them in a file for when I'm besieged by writer's block. Which is now, because IT CHICKS Book #2 is due on June 18th!! Yes, girls, it IS a series, and you can expect Book #2 in your bookstores in Spring 2008. Somebody please light a candle for me, because I'm DROWNING in adorable teen girls with boy issues, crazy dance teachers, and flagrant hallway gossip. Speaking of...guess what? I'm giving away TEN SIGNED COPIES of IT CHICKS to the first ten SYB Babes to email me a delicious plot point I can use in Book #2 ( Cannot wait to hear your scandalous little thoughts...

I feel very 2007, you know why? I FINALLY started a Myspace Actually, it's not really about me, it's for IT CHICKS (you must check it talented-beyond-words friend Kibwe whipped up the most darling illustrations for each of the main characters). I just put it up and I have zero friends so far...truth be told, I don't even know HOW to ask for friends, yet. I have never felt more 31 in my life.

Okay, I was going to do a Q&A this week, but I looked over my comments from the past month or so, and a good 75 percent of your questions have all been hair-related. I mean, just look:

* "If it isn't too much to ask, I hope that you can try and get more hair styling tips! Thanks!"

* "What products do you use on your hair? Do you have your hair regimen posted on the blog? If not, could you post it?"

* "I second Alexis! What's your hair routine? It's fabulous!"

* "I'm needing hair help...your hair length is my goal!"

* "How do you keep your ends so healthy?"
--Sinner saved by grace (loving your name, sugar)

See, here's the thing. I think I don't talk about hair that often because I don't really DO my own hair! I go to a fabulous Dominican salon (Adelina's on 5th Ave. in Park Slope...if you're a New Yorker, look into it) every Sunday, and my blowout usually lasts up to two weeks. So I'm really just a maintenance chick. But it's true...sometimes I'm too busy to get there and I do, in fact, sprain my wrists working out my hair, all by myself. And since I can take a hint, I'm devoting this post to my entire haircare regimen. I'm spilling all--everything from my shampoo to my favorite frizz fighter. Hope this helps, muchachitas!!

luv ya, mean it,
Taquita Williams (sorry, I'm deeply into Taquita & Kaui right now)

PS...Check me out in the latest issue of Teen Vogue (with Emma Roberts on the cover)! I wrote "Access Hollywood," an IT CHICKS-inspired piece on kids who'll do anything to get famous. And I'm on the contributor's page, too. Most of you will recognize the photo from an old Glamour profile on my apartment...isn't my Miniature Pinscher just SO glamorous in his oxford shirt and collegiate sweater? Yum.


STEP 1: Shampoo & Conditioner
PRODUCT: John Frieda Brilliant Brunette, Chestnut to Espresso Shine-Release Moisturizing Shampoo and Light-Reflecting Conditioner ($6.49, each)
THE STORY: I know it sounds kind of random, but me and my mom are really, really into John Frieda's Brilliant Brunette line. I remember going to the event years ago, when it first launched, and thinking that there's no way in HELL a shampoo or conditioner can make your hair sparkle and shine. Not even the color-depositing ones. Well, recently I discovered that the PR chick was so not bullshitting. Not only does this shampoo/conditioner combo leave my hair impossibly glossy, it's super-moisturizing, too. And the conditioner is a kick-ass detangler. Here's how I know: For years, my conditioning routine has always been to coat my hair in the stuff, run a wide-tooth comb through to detangle, and then rinse (it makes for really silky, tangle-free hair when you blowdry). And I don't think I've EVER had an easier time detangling than with Brilliant Brunette. If that's not enough to convince you, woman, then I don't know what.

STEP 2: Leave-in
PRODUCT PICK: Mizani Thermasmooth Smooth Guard ($21.99)
THE STORY: Okay, so my next step is to wring out all the water in my hair, and then apply a sleekening leave-in heat protector to prep my hair for the blowdry. Then I wrap my hair in a towel and do chores or something for the next hour, while my hair dries a little (you're never supposed to blowdry soaking-wet have to use tons more heat to dry it, and it's more prone to breakage). My product of choice is this SUMPTIOUS Mizani Smooth Guard. Heaven! This lightweight, heat-protecting serum is chock full of special fancy polymers that help shield, polish and smooth hair while you blowdry. This stuff is a godsend. And you usually can only buy it in-salon, but Sneaky Me found a site that hawks it. Yay.

STEP 3: Blowdry
PRODUCT PICK: Vidal Sassoon Fast Dry Professional Styling Dryer ($21.49)
THE STORY: I've been deeply involved with some incarnations of this blowdrier since 1981. And it's all because it comes with a special brush attachment that makes blowdrying a zillion times easier. Instead of trying to coordinate the whole dryer-and-round-bristle-brush's built right in! And the brush attachment makes it easy to really get at stubborn roots and kitchens. Perfection. Oh, and here's my technique: I part my hair down the middle so that I have two ponytails, and I work on one side at a time.

STEP 4: Curl
PRODUCT PICK: Carol's Daughter Mimosa Hair Honey ($9.50)
THE STORY: Once my hair's all dry and straight and stuff, I then beat it to death with a curling iron. Some may find this an almost pornographic abuse of heat tools, but it works for me. First, I pull all my hair on top of my head. Then, I pull down small sections, apply a teeensy dab of Carol's Daughter's heavenly Hair Honey to each section (it controls frizz, moisturizes heat-damaged hair and smells citrusy-delicious!), and then curl with a 1" barrel iron. Next, I slip out the iron so that the curl falls ringlet-style, and then I wind it into a pin curl. Once I've got pin curls all over my head, I QUICKLY blast them with the hot air from the blowdryer, and then wait for the curls to cool. After about twenty minutes, I un-pin, shake out, and voila! Mama's got a head full of sultry, tousled bounciness.

STEP 5: Nighttime Maintenance
PRODUCT PICK: Global Goddess Shine Coconut Amla Hair Revitalizing Treatment ($45)...and if you're on a budget, try Ellin Lavar Textures Nourish Oil ($7.99)
THE STORY: At night, it's all about a high ponytail ontop of my head (with a soft scrunchie, though, so I don't get creases), and an elastic headband around my roots (you can get them at American Apparel for cheap, cheap, cheap). I take the hair in the ponytail and create about four pin-curls, pinning them around the actually turns out to be a pretty bun. This technique keeps your curls for, like, up to a week and a half. But before I do the ponytail, I rub a itty-bitty dab of the coconut oil between my hands and rub over my ends (JUST the ends, or your hair'll get way greasy). I've totally written about this stuff, like eighteen times. But for those of you who've asked me how my ends stay so healthy, this is the answer. And a tiny trim every four months.


ISSUE: Humid-day frizz
PRODUCT PICK: Kiehl’s Climate Proof Shine Enhancing Non-Aerosol Spray ($14.50)
THE STORY: I've written about this, too, but maybe it bears repeating. You know those really humid days when you walk outside and your hair immediately explodes? This Kiehls' stuff is SUCH a savior. And it's really the only one of it's kind. It's a lightweight, non-aerosol hairspray that's chock full of frizz-fighters, shine-enhancers and moisturizers. So it manages to hold your style all day (but not in a freeze-frame kind of way; you can still run your fingers thru it), while totally combating frizz AND giving you major shine. Go Kiehls!

ISSUE: Dull, dead-looking hair
PRODUCT PICK: Oscar Blandi Luce ($25)
THE STORY: You know how it've killed your hair with all the blowdrying, relaxing, coloring, and flat-ironing, and now it looks like a dead, dull disaster. A hot mess. Well, Oscar Blandi's new emollient-infused, rinse-out gloss is designed to revitalize chemically-damaged hair and tired-looking ends. Here's how to use it: Once every two weeks, apply Luce to wet, shampooed and conditioned hair, slap on a shower cap, and leave for five minutes. Rinse and behold the most vibrant, glossy, revitalized hair!

Monday, April 23, 2007


Hola chicas,
If you have a nagging jones for juicy celebrity news, style stuff, reality show recaps, and politics--all served by the sassiest, snarkiest, smartest black writer I know (and she has a head of truly inspirational curls)--then you really need to jump on the STEREOHYPED train! Today's the launch of this super-fab new black lifestyle website, which is brought to you by the creators of the wildly popular media gossip site, JOSSIP. Join me in applause, ladies! Oh, and because the esteemed writer/editor is Lauren Williams, my baby sister, I got a sneak preview yesterday. Ladies, you're going to absolutely fall in amor. I mean, look at what you're getting:

* Beauty and fashion trend reports brought to you by some of the industry's most insidery insiders
* Smart and scintillatingly funny celebrity snarkery
* So-wrong-it's-right music industry gossip
* A too-funny daily throwback video (think New Edition's "NE Heartbreak," or Vanessa Williams' "The Right Stuff)
* "Obamarama," ie constant updates on what our favorite Great Brown Hope is up to
* and tons more!!

Honestly, the best part is that it's all written by Lauren, a girl who's EXACTLY LIKE US...funny, glamorous, super-smart, really into eyeshadow and obsessed with all the right TV shows. You'll see! So girls, join me in celebrating the launch of STEREOHYPED! Raise your glasses, light a candle, walk it out...let's make this hotter-than-hot site a ridonkulous success.

luv ya, mean it,

PS...Check out PINKISTHENEWBLOG to see pics of Lauren at one of Stereohyped launch fiestas (scroll down to the bottom)!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Spring Sassiness

Hey guys,
I'm back from South Beach!! That's me, in my pale pink 60's shift ($80 at Bebe, can you believe it?) and my frizzy, wash-and-go curls, waving at you! I had a lovely time, and my tan is insane. Guess what? Before I left I got eyelash extensions at the lovely Skintology Total Skin and Laser Spa in Chelsea. Surely you've heard of this outrageously vain trend that's sweeping the nation, right? It's when long lashes (either human hair, synthetic, silk, mink, or a combo of all) are glued to your real ones, individual lash by individual lash. It takes THREE HOURS. But oh, the results are so worth it. My lashes are long, long, long...but interestingly enough, they don't look fake. Because they're glued to the actual hair, they look real—and you can totally still wear eye makeup (just not mascara...and you don't need it, anyway).

The only picture I have where you can really see them is this hideous, makeup-less shot of me at breakfast (well, I am wearing gloss, but no mas). Just look at the lashes...they're good, right? And they last up to five weeks!! If you're anywhere near New York City, you MUST make an appointment with the famous Olga at Skintology...she's one of the best in the country.

So, Miss LKJelly left me the following comment last week:
"Hey Tia, I saw you on Fox News' Red Eye the other day and you looked fab! If this is not too personal, did you have in hair extentions? I was wondering how you get them put in."

Well, pumpkin, I don't have extensions. But if I did, I surely would have pulled them out during that segment. I'm LOATHE to give one more second to ImusGate, but I simply MUST fill you in on my Red Eye drama. The show is kind of a round-table forum, so obviously we got to talking about "nappy-headed hos." At which point an Ann Coulter-wanna-be named Rachel Marsden told me to "get over it, because everyone knows "nappy" is a British term for diaper." Turns out, I wasn't the only person shocked by her thundering ignorance...check the replay on Whatever. I refused to get all deep on a blog called "Shake Your Beauty." At least I looked cute!

Speaking of cute, time for my annual Spring Product Roundup! The weather's finally getting warmer and it's time to restock your makeup drawer. Here are all the new must-haves of the'll just die when you get to the bikini kit :-)

A Very Tan Tia


1.) ELIZABETH ARDEN COLOR INTRIGUE EYESHADOW/CHEEKCOLOR IN WARM ($29.50): It's not just about the sexy, swirly-boho packaging, I swear to you. Inside, you'll find all you'll need in the eyeshadow department for spring/summer! There's a wonderful golden-peach shade for the lid, a luminous pearl for the browbone...and if you're feeling saucy, there's a deep, shimmery chocolate brown for the crease. Finish with two or three coats of black mascara on top lashes, and you're officially Hot Business.

2.) GOLDIE MINI NAIL LACQUER IN PANSY ($5): Okay, I think I've found the sweeeetest fingernail color of the season. Goldie's brand-new Pansy shade is a sheer, ballerina-pink infused with's subtle, it's fresh, and it looks lovely next to my tan. I also can't resist the itty-bitty, thumb-sized bottle with the darling bow!!

3.) ORIGINS SHEDONISM SENSUOUS SHAVING MOUSSE ($25): The best part of spring? Skin-baring ensembles like teeny mini's, flirty sundresses and little shorts with sky-high wedges. Of course, all of this skin means it's time to get serious about shaving. Origins' new shaving mousse makes the whole experience infinitely more glamorous! Girls, this stuff is so lush, creamy and moisturizing that you'll barely need lotion afterwards. And the scent!! Oh, the lushly fragrant blend of tiare flower, mandarin and jasmine, like, instantly transports you to Tahiti.

4.) EVA SCRIVO NARROW LEATHER HEADBAND IN BRONZE ($45): A couple weeks ago, I was a guest on salon owner Eva Scrivo's beauty hour on the Martha Stewart Channel (Sirius Satellite Radio). Eva is fabulous...not only is she Martha Stewart's personal hairstylist, she's also an amazing celebrity makeup artist and she owns her own salon and product line. Anyway, this divalicious diva introduced me to her new line of headbands for spring, and I'm officially in love. I rock this delicate bronze band practically every's such a cute look with a low, messy bun or a ponytail, and it totally flatters my highlights. On a budget? Hit CVS for GOODY'S CLASSIC COLOUR COLLECTION HAIRBAND IN BUTTERSCOTCH.

5.) LANCOME JUICY TUBES SWIRL ($17.50, each): Juicy Tubes are SUCH a fan favorite that the lovely ladies of Lancome are debuting a brand-new, super-adorable new extension line for spring/summer! My favorite is Orange Twist (the one in the middle), but no matter which one you pick, these glosses will give your lips the sexiest, summeriest shine. Can you stand it?

6.) KAREN'S BODY BEAUTIFUL OLIVE OIL BODY LOTION IN WHITE TEA ($12): In the past month, I've been stopped at the grocery store, the hair salon, and The Gap, all by women dying to know what perfume I'm wearing. Clearly I'm not trying to reveal my secret, so I just tell them "it's eau d'moi." But since I love you, here's the truth! Tucked away on Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn's Fort Greene neighborhood is a beauty boutique called Karen's Body Beautiful. It's run by the sweetest couple who actually MAKE the products in an in-store kitchen (yep, it's that authentic). Anyway, their body lotion is infused with tons of olive oil and vitamin E, so it's incredibly moisturizing...but everybody's favorite part is the lush, downright heady white tea scent. It's so fresh, so crisp, so springy...and it doesn't fade. YUM. Oh, by the way—when you check out, make sure you click on "white tea," or you'll get an unscented one.

6.) NIPPIES ($15 for a pack of 8): Drop everything!!! If you're anything like me--relatively flat-chested, LOATHE wearing bras, LOVE wearing flimsy tops—these genius little nipple covers will be your spring/summer style savior. They come in a zillion different colors, sizes and fabrics (my favorite are the sequin butterflies!), and unlike other pasties I've tried, they don't sweat off after a night at the club. Finally, I can go boobie-commando without outing my areolas!!

7.) REDKEN UV RESCUE DAILY PROTECTIVE OIL ($14.95): This SPF-oil-for-hair is meant to be used while hanging out all day long at the beach or by the pool. But here's the thing. Our hair is delicate by nature...and if you're complicating things with a relaxer and/or highlights, then the sun can be incredibly damaging even if you're outside for as little as an hour. If I'm spending anytime outside in the spring, I like to lightly spritz this protective oil on my hair...not only does it keep my hair from drying out, the little twinkly flecks give it an outrageously glossy finish. What's not to love?

8.) POP BEAUTY BLUSH CAKE IN WARM SIENNA ($19): For a fresh, springy glow, swirl a fluffy brush over this gorgeous blush cake, and blend on the apples of your cheeks. The orangey, melony-gold combo looks soo amazing on brown skin. You'll see.

9.) HAIRCARE DOWN THERE BIKINI SHAVING KIT ($59): It's bikini season! Time to trim the hedges! Seriously, the brains behind this "hair down there" shaving kit have thought of everything (too expensive? you can buy each product separately, too). Here's what you're getting:
• Shave Gel: A clear moisturing gel contains tea tree oil to prevent nicks, cuts and razor burn.
• Soothe Post-Shave Spray: After shaving, spritz on this salicylic-acid-infused spray to prevent ingrown hairs and soothe tender skin.
• Smooth moisturizer: Keeps your "flower" baby-soft.
• Safety-Tipped Scissors: Great for trimming.
• Tiny, Two-Sided Comb
• Two-Sided Compact Mirror: Has a regular and 3X mirror so you can really see what you're doing.
• Lightweight Razor w/a Small Head

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Hi girls,
Just wanted my SYB Babes to know that I'm jetsetting off to sunny Florida for awhile, so you won't hear from moi until mid-next week! On Thursday around 12:20, I'll be taping a segment on IVillage Live, a talk show that airs on NBC in most major cities. It's all about Clinique's sassy new gift with purchase...check it out if you're interested in watching my blowout slowly expand (apparently, they tape outside in the crazy Orlando humidity). If you don't have iVillage in your town, check it out online right here! After Orlando, it's off to South Beach to celebrate my glamorous friend Sarita's birthday. Expect me back with a serious tan, eyelash extensions and an exhaustive Spring product roundup.

One more thing! L'Oreal asked me to tell you about their second annual WOMEN OF WORTH contest! Inspired by L'Oreal's iconic philosophy, "Because I'm Worth It," this contest is all about recognizing the fabulousness of real women who make a difference in the lives of others. If there's a WOMAN OF WORTH in your life, nominate her at (the deadline is May 24th). There will be 13 honorees, each of which will win a donation of $2500 to the charity of their choice, as well as a matching donation will be made in their names to The Ovarian Cancer Research Fund. Out of these 13 women, a Woman of the Year will be selected, and she'll receive an additional whopping $25,000 donation in her name to her associated charity. The program culminates in October at a glittering reception in New York City, honoring all 13 WOMEN OF WORTH. Good stuff.

Talk to you in a week or so! Love ya, mean it.


Friday, April 06, 2007

Now and Zen!

Hey girls,
Just a few things before I get into why I'm a new woman this week.

1.). Love, love, love the impassioned debate that's STILL raging on the comment board! You girls are wicked smahht. I'm tempted to start an SYB scholarship program for beauty junkies with excellent debating skills.

2.) If anyone happens to catch "Hollywood's Tightest Bodies" on VH1, please know that I've learned my lesson. Turtlenecks and TV just don't produces the phenomenon that Miss Jay likes to call the "No-Necked Monster." Seriously, I look identical to Melinda Doolittle.

3.) Miss Aja Bella! I'm so sorry you didn't land the Lucky gig...but you know what? Something even sassier is around the corner. Who knows? You may have been spared. Everyone knows the Conde Nast Cafeteria floor is super-slippery and hell on a stiletto, and you just might've accidentally wiped out in the "Asian Rice Bowl" front of Andre Leon Talley, God, and everybody (not that this ever happened to me when I worked there). Chin up, baby. We all believe in you.

4.) To China, Aqueela, and all you Anonymous posters who stayed up all nite reading my juicy, brand-new teen book, IT made my year with your comments. I forwarded them to my agent, Mary Ann, and we were both a blubbering mess (I recommend Maybelline Great Lash-Waterproof).

5.) And finally...Bree, I can't BELIEVE you unearthed a decade-old lipstick from your high school days, and are now happily rocking it. I can't decide whether I should make you my best friend or call the police.

And now, on to more important things. Please allow me to confess some things about myself. I'm a glass-half-empty kind of gal. I'm an eternal pessimist who's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm constantly stressed, have no idea how to manage my time, and I'm prone to weepy nervous breakdowns. I also sometimes throw candy dishes and glasses when I'm furious. I'm not proud of these things, but if I can't be honest with you girls, then well, I just don't know. Anyway, it's been a really stressful couple of weeks, so I politely marched myself into Spa Ja (300 W. 56th Street at 8th Ave., if you're ever in New York). Now, you know that as a beauty editor I visited practically every spa of note in Manhattan, but this one made QUITE the impression. In short, it's probably the most relaxing, holistic, all-about-the-wellness spa in the city (it also should win some sort of design award, because the space is Elle Decor-flawless). Anyway, the owner, Giovanna Kupfer, is a legendary Brazilian beauty entrepeneur who's all about natural healing and stuff...and she's staffed her spa with the most brilliant, talented, Buddha-calm therapists I've ever encountered. I explained my current mental state to Giovanna, and she introduced me to Elmira, who proceeded to do things like Read My Chakras, Balance My Meridiens, and Assess My Energy. All I can tell you is that when I left, I was as giddy as Vanessa Minillo at brunch with Nick Lachey. Since then, my entire attitude has changed. I mean, I'll never be some mind-numbing, grinning idiot, but I HAVE put things into perspective. Giovanna broke it all down for me--it's not healthy being so go-go-go all the time! We have to take a minute to treat ourselves, to calm down, to BREATHE! Or else, what are we working so damn hard for? As a rule, I don't subscribe to all that new agey, woo-woo stuff, but there really is something to the idea of chilling the &^%$ out. Right? So here, I'm treating my girls to some of Giovanna's choice words of advice.

floating on air,
Miss Tia

PS...Can I get really serious for a minute? In the past three weeks, I've found out that my aunt and one of my best friends from high school both have breast cancer (and Giovanna had it TWICE). Honestly, the statistics are terrifying, girls. Please get your mammograms, and if you have it like that, donate a lil something to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. It's getting too real to ignore. Okay, no more PSA.


THE ISSUE: Work is making you nuts
THE CURE: Aveda Blue Oil Balancing Concentrate ($12.50)
THE ANGLE: This darling little blue roll-on is a spritely blend of peppermint and chamomile, which folks have been using to cure tension and soothe stress since The Dawn of Man. According to Giovanna, it's the perfect indulgence when office drama gets you crazy. First, STOP EVERYTHING. Sit flush against the back of your chair, uncross your legs, and get comfy. Then rub the oil on the insides of your wrists and put your hands on your knees, palms up in "yoga pose" (your thumbs and forefingers touching). Inhale your right wrist deeeeeply, then exhale compleeeetely and go limp. Do the same with the left wrist, and repeat a couple times. When you're doing all this breathing, think of your "pleasure place" know, your trip to Costa Rica last year, or a particularly inspiring tumble in the sack (actually, maybe not'll get you feeling all feisty and this is more of a relaxation thing). I swear, when you get back to your emails and/or kissing your passive-agressive boss' flat, boxy ass, you'll feel like a new girl.

THE ISSUE: You're drained/hungover/feeling blah
THE CURE: Erbaviva Awaken Room & Body Spray ($19)
THE ANGLE: You know the feeling--you were out till four in the morning the night before, or your alarm didn't go off, or you have...what's it called? The thing when you get depressed and lethargic when the weather sucks (Seasonal Something or Other)? Anyway, what you need is a quick spritz of this upbeat-inducing energizing spray. It's full of zippy essential oils like lemongrass, ginger and rose, all of which help put the proverbial pep in your step. Spritz it on your clothes, in your hair, in the air around you...and in mere minutes you'll be ready to run the New York Marathon. It's the human version of catnip.

THE ISSUE: Period cramps have you screaming for morphine
THE CURE: Essence of Vali Massage & Bath Oil in Relief ($16)
THE ANGLE: A woman at Giovann's spa has those chronic, mind-numbing cramps--the ones where you can barely stand up. Instead of inhaling a bottle of Advil, Giovanna has her rub a drop of this jojoba, lavender, peppermint and birch-bark blended massage oil in circles on her abdomen (remember to go in a clockwise direction...very important, something about meridians?). And then, she pours a capful of the magic pain potion in a hot bath, and soaks. And like magic, the agony goes the way of the bootcut jean. It also works for headache pain, so you know I'm all over it. Giovanni said that chronic headache sufferers should do the capful-in-the-bath trick every single day as a preventative treatment. Loving that.

THE ISSUE: Insomnia is a bitch
THE CURE: Origins Float Away Sleep-Inspiring Milk Bath ($22.50)
THE ANGLE: Okay, here's the thing. "Sleep experts" (what is that, like a narcoleptic scientist?) say that before you fall asleep, your body tempature drops...and that's what makes you feel sleepy. So, to make your temp drop, first raise it by soaking in a hot bath spiked with relaxing herbs and essential oils. Origins' Float Away Milk Bath is blended with tension-dissolving chamomile, tangerine and lemon, and it smells positively dreamy. There's no way in hell you wont sleep for a thousand years after soaking in this stuff. And the idea is, once you create a nightly ritual (ie, bath then sleep), you're basically training your body to respond a certain way to stimulus--meaning, if your body knows it's supposed to fall asleep after the milk bath, then it will. And if it doesn't, make it watch The Tudors on Showtime. Borrring.