Now and Zen!

Hey girls,
Just a few things before I get into why I'm a new woman this week.

1.). Love, love, love the impassioned debate that's STILL raging on the comment board! You girls are wicked smahht. I'm tempted to start an SYB scholarship program for beauty junkies with excellent debating skills.

2.) If anyone happens to catch "Hollywood's Tightest Bodies" on VH1, please know that I've learned my lesson. Turtlenecks and TV just don't mix...it produces the phenomenon that Miss Jay likes to call the "No-Necked Monster." Seriously, I look identical to Melinda Doolittle.

3.) Miss Aja Bella! I'm so sorry you didn't land the Lucky gig...but you know what? Something even sassier is around the corner. Who knows? You may have been spared. Everyone knows the Conde Nast Cafeteria floor is super-slippery and hell on a stiletto, and you just might've accidentally wiped out in the "Asian Rice Bowl" line...in front of Andre Leon Talley, God, and everybody (not that this ever happened to me when I worked there). Chin up, baby. We all believe in you.

4.) To China, Aqueela, and all you Anonymous posters who stayed up all nite reading my juicy, brand-new teen book, IT CHICKS...you made my year with your comments. I forwarded them to my agent, Mary Ann, and we were both a blubbering mess (I recommend Maybelline Great Lash-Waterproof).

5.) And finally...Bree, I can't BELIEVE you unearthed a decade-old lipstick from your high school days, and are now happily rocking it. I can't decide whether I should make you my best friend or call the police.

And now, on to more important things. Please allow me to confess some things about myself. I'm a glass-half-empty kind of gal. I'm an eternal pessimist who's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm constantly stressed, have no idea how to manage my time, and I'm prone to weepy nervous breakdowns. I also sometimes throw candy dishes and glasses when I'm furious. I'm not proud of these things, but if I can't be honest with you girls, then well, I just don't know. Anyway, it's been a really stressful couple of weeks, so I politely marched myself into Spa Ja (300 W. 56th Street at 8th Ave., if you're ever in New York). Now, you know that as a beauty editor I visited practically every spa of note in Manhattan, but this one made QUITE the impression. In short, it's probably the most relaxing, holistic, all-about-the-wellness spa in the city (it also should win some sort of design award, because the space is Elle Decor-flawless). Anyway, the owner, Giovanna Kupfer, is a legendary Brazilian beauty entrepeneur who's all about natural healing and stuff...and she's staffed her spa with the most brilliant, talented, Buddha-calm therapists I've ever encountered. I explained my current mental state to Giovanna, and she introduced me to Elmira, who proceeded to do things like Read My Chakras, Balance My Meridiens, and Assess My Energy. All I can tell you is that when I left, I was as giddy as Vanessa Minillo at brunch with Nick Lachey. Since then, my entire attitude has changed. I mean, I'll never be some mind-numbing, grinning idiot, but I HAVE put things into perspective. Giovanna broke it all down for me--it's not healthy being so go-go-go all the time! We have to take a minute to treat ourselves, to calm down, to BREATHE! Or else, what are we working so damn hard for? As a rule, I don't subscribe to all that new agey, woo-woo stuff, but there really is something to the idea of chilling the &^%$ out. Right? So here, I'm treating my girls to some of Giovanna's choice words of advice.

floating on air,
Miss Tia

PS...Can I get really serious for a minute? In the past three weeks, I've found out that my aunt and one of my best friends from high school both have breast cancer (and Giovanna had it TWICE). Honestly, the statistics are terrifying, girls. Please get your mammograms, and if you have it like that, donate a lil something to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. It's getting too real to ignore. Okay, no more PSA.

TIA'S TOP 4 PRODUCTS FOR CHILLING THE *$#@ OUT

THE ISSUE: Work is making you nuts
THE CURE: Aveda Blue Oil Balancing Concentrate ($12.50)
THE ANGLE: This darling little blue roll-on is a spritely blend of peppermint and chamomile, which folks have been using to cure tension and soothe stress since The Dawn of Man. According to Giovanna, it's the perfect indulgence when office drama gets you crazy. First, STOP EVERYTHING. Sit flush against the back of your chair, uncross your legs, and get comfy. Then rub the oil on the insides of your wrists and put your hands on your knees, palms up in "yoga pose" (your thumbs and forefingers touching). Inhale your right wrist deeeeeply, then exhale compleeeetely and go limp. Do the same with the left wrist, and repeat a couple times. When you're doing all this breathing, think of your "pleasure place"...you know, your trip to Costa Rica last year, or a particularly inspiring tumble in the sack (actually, maybe not that...it'll get you feeling all feisty and this is more of a relaxation thing). I swear, when you get back to your emails and/or kissing your passive-agressive boss' flat, boxy ass, you'll feel like a new girl.


THE ISSUE: You're drained/hungover/feeling blah
THE CURE: Erbaviva Awaken Room & Body Spray ($19)
THE ANGLE: You know the feeling--you were out till four in the morning the night before, or your alarm didn't go off, or you have...what's it called? The thing when you get depressed and lethargic when the weather sucks (Seasonal Something or Other)? Anyway, what you need is a quick spritz of this upbeat-inducing energizing spray. It's full of zippy essential oils like lemongrass, ginger and rose, all of which help put the proverbial pep in your step. Spritz it on your clothes, in your hair, in the air around you...and in mere minutes you'll be ready to run the New York Marathon. It's the human version of catnip.


THE ISSUE: Period cramps have you screaming for morphine
THE CURE: Essence of Vali Massage & Bath Oil in Relief ($16)
THE ANGLE: A woman at Giovann's spa has those chronic, mind-numbing cramps--the ones where you can barely stand up. Instead of inhaling a bottle of Advil, Giovanna has her rub a drop of this jojoba, lavender, peppermint and birch-bark blended massage oil in circles on her abdomen (remember to go in a clockwise direction...very important, something about meridians?). And then, she pours a capful of the magic pain potion in a hot bath, and soaks. And like magic, the agony goes the way of the bootcut jean. It also works for headache pain, so you know I'm all over it. Giovanni said that chronic headache sufferers should do the capful-in-the-bath trick every single day as a preventative treatment. Loving that.


THE ISSUE: Insomnia is a bitch
THE CURE: Origins Float Away Sleep-Inspiring Milk Bath ($22.50)
THE ANGLE: Okay, here's the thing. "Sleep experts" (what is that, like a narcoleptic scientist?) say that before you fall asleep, your body tempature drops...and that's what makes you feel sleepy. So, to make your temp drop, first raise it by soaking in a hot bath spiked with relaxing herbs and essential oils. Origins' Float Away Milk Bath is blended with tension-dissolving chamomile, tangerine and lemon, and it smells positively dreamy. There's no way in hell you wont sleep for a thousand years after soaking in this stuff. And the idea is, once you create a nightly ritual (ie, bath then sleep), you're basically training your body to respond a certain way to stimulus--meaning, if your body knows it's supposed to fall asleep after the milk bath, then it will. And if it doesn't, make it watch The Tudors on Showtime. Borrring.