The "Being Bobby Brown" of beauty products

Hey y'all,
Before launching into the muy complicado explanation of today's title, I'd like you to join me in congratulating Schanina, Shake Your Beauty's August Product of the Month winner! She quickly and correctly identified Bermuda-born Vida's college alter ego as "DJ Tri" (for the Bermuda Triangle). Further proving her photographic memory, she noted that the MC-wanna-be settled on that moniker only after "V8" failed to stick with the public...impressive, no? Thanks for reading, doll, and enjoy your Stila Fiber Optic mascara!

Now, onto more pressing biz-nass. I have a confession. I'm hell-and-gone addicted to "Being Bobby Brown." I'm not sure what got me—Bobbi Kristina's Tina-Yothers-style matter-of-factness, Bobby's eerily endearing new crackhead underbite (a recent development, as his jaw structure was relatively normal during the Tenderoni era), or the moment Whitney warbled "I'm Not Doing This With Him To-daaaaay" during a small breakdown in Harrod's—all I know is that the reality show has become essential to my life. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. The Houston-Browns' behavior is at once giddily mortifying and, ahem, familiar (please, every black family KNOWS they have an uncle in Detroit or somewhere who'd announce at a 4-star restaurant that he's going to the bathroom to tear himself a new asshole). Anyway, this is a roundabout way of saying that even though "Being Bobby Brown's" existence is arguably meaningless--the show makes me a happier person, dammit.

And so do the following products. See, they're all kind of unecessary, but incredibly fun. For example, no one really NEEDS a makeup eraser pen for smudges (hello, a damp cloth?), or a mid-day mascara refresher gel (whose ever been scarred by dull lashes?)...but these products are just FUN! Just like watching Bobby and Whitney do the cabbage patch to an impromptu ditty called "They Work For Me" while trying on gift shop sunglasses, this stuff make me unreasonably happy. And honestly, what else matters?

So here's to the Bobby Brown's digestive tract, and these six sorta random but TRULY FABULOUS products!!

a big mwah on all four cheeks,
Tia

PS: The fact that they're all somehow eye-enhancing is not coincidental. I recently read Jane Fonda' autobiography, "My Life So Far," and I'm now obsessed with those great big, expressive 60s eyes she had back in the day (all killer brows, cat-eye liner and lashes). Watch "Barbarella," you'll know what I mean.

Tia's Top Six Unecessary-But-Fun Products
1.) BENEFIT HIGHBROW BROW LIFTING PENCIL: I just discovered this brand-new eye addition to the brilliant Benefit familia, and I'm all about it.. We're talking a simple, matte, translucent pinky-white pencil--but when you dot it along your arches and blend with a finger, it magically lifts brows and makes your eyes pop like crazy (sometimes I wear it alone with blush and lipgloss, and I look totally "finished"). And if you haven't plucked in a bit, the highlighty hue somehow masks grown-in hairs. Of course, this effect can be created with any pale pencil, but I think its cooler to have a product invented SPECIFICALLY for arch-beautification, don't you?
2.) YVES SAINT LAURENT GLOSSY TOUCH MULTI-PURPOSE GLOSS : Makeup artists don't leave home without this multi-purpose gem in their kits, and its easy to see why. The light, unsticky, seriously-shiny gloss is perfect for smoothing out curly brows (it gives natural hold that lasts all day), blended over lids for a radiant sheen, or over lipstick. You may be thinking, "won't Vaseline do the same thing?" Well, no it won't. A face full of Vaseline is a very greasy, sweaty-looking prospect, indeed.
3.) RAMY TRIUMPH! MASCARA REVITALIZER : I've known celebrity makeup artist Ramy was a genius ever since my days as a fresh-faced beauty assistant at YM magazine. We used him for a feature where he made over my baby sis Lauren's entire high school dance team using the same five products (guess who's the best big sis ever). Who but the brilliant innovative Ramy would've come up with a clear gel that, when swiped over flaky, faded mascara, immediately adds shine and luster to lashes? Perfect for end-of-workday touch ups before going out.
4.) SMASHBOX ARCHED EYELINER BRUSH #21 : As you know, I'm deeply into working a 60's cat eye right now. Not in a huge, too-made-up way--just a skinny, SLIGHTLY winged-out-at-the-corners line. I've always had trouble making this happen with liquid eyeliners (if you don't have the precision of a surgeon, forget it). Somehow, Smashbox's new ultra-skinny, angled brush does the work for me! I dip it into a sparkly black cream eyeshadow like REVLON ILLUMINANCE CREME SHADOW IN VINTAGE CHIC, look downwards, and drag along lash line. Very ooh-la-la.
5.) CLINIQUE KOHL SHAPER FOR EYES IN BLACK KOHL: Upon first glance, you'll wonder what makes this new eye pencil so special. It has the perfect, ridiculously creamy, liquid-looking consistency of all Clinique's fabulous pencils but, hold onto your hats--a sharpener is built into the cap!! No more searching around in the bottom of your purse or makeup drawer, or having to throw away blunt pencils because you've lost the damned thing. Holla!
6.) SEPHORA MAKEUP ERASER PEN: Seriously, I've never seen anything like this pen. Wipe it over mascara smudges, travelling eyeshadow, or smeared lipstick, and the boo-boo magically disappears. No tugging, pulling or anything! If you've ever found yourself with cheeks full of sifted-down shadow particles after applying smoky eyeshadow, you'll get why this this is such a brilliant invention.