Friday, August 19, 2005

The "Being Bobby Brown" of beauty products

Hey y'all,
Before launching into the muy complicado explanation of today's title, I'd like you to join me in congratulating Schanina, Shake Your Beauty's August Product of the Month winner! She quickly and correctly identified Bermuda-born Vida's college alter ego as "DJ Tri" (for the Bermuda Triangle). Further proving her photographic memory, she noted that the MC-wanna-be settled on that moniker only after "V8" failed to stick with the public...impressive, no? Thanks for reading, doll, and enjoy your Stila Fiber Optic mascara!

Now, onto more pressing biz-nass. I have a confession. I'm hell-and-gone addicted to "Being Bobby Brown." I'm not sure what got me—Bobbi Kristina's Tina-Yothers-style matter-of-factness, Bobby's eerily endearing new crackhead underbite (a recent development, as his jaw structure was relatively normal during the Tenderoni era), or the moment Whitney warbled "I'm Not Doing This With Him To-daaaaay" during a small breakdown in Harrod's—all I know is that the reality show has become essential to my life. If you've seen it, you know what I mean. The Houston-Browns' behavior is at once giddily mortifying and, ahem, familiar (please, every black family KNOWS they have an uncle in Detroit or somewhere who'd announce at a 4-star restaurant that he's going to the bathroom to tear himself a new asshole). Anyway, this is a roundabout way of saying that even though "Being Bobby Brown's" existence is arguably meaningless--the show makes me a happier person, dammit.

And so do the following products. See, they're all kind of unecessary, but incredibly fun. For example, no one really NEEDS a makeup eraser pen for smudges (hello, a damp cloth?), or a mid-day mascara refresher gel (whose ever been scarred by dull lashes?)...but these products are just FUN! Just like watching Bobby and Whitney do the cabbage patch to an impromptu ditty called "They Work For Me" while trying on gift shop sunglasses, this stuff make me unreasonably happy. And honestly, what else matters?

So here's to the Bobby Brown's digestive tract, and these six sorta random but TRULY FABULOUS products!!

a big mwah on all four cheeks,
Tia

PS: The fact that they're all somehow eye-enhancing is not coincidental. I recently read Jane Fonda' autobiography, "My Life So Far," and I'm now obsessed with those great big, expressive 60s eyes she had back in the day (all killer brows, cat-eye liner and lashes). Watch "Barbarella," you'll know what I mean.

Tia's Top Six Unecessary-But-Fun Products
1.) BENEFIT HIGHBROW BROW LIFTING PENCIL: I just discovered this brand-new eye addition to the brilliant Benefit familia, and I'm all about it.. We're talking a simple, matte, translucent pinky-white pencil--but when you dot it along your arches and blend with a finger, it magically lifts brows and makes your eyes pop like crazy (sometimes I wear it alone with blush and lipgloss, and I look totally "finished"). And if you haven't plucked in a bit, the highlighty hue somehow masks grown-in hairs. Of course, this effect can be created with any pale pencil, but I think its cooler to have a product invented SPECIFICALLY for arch-beautification, don't you?
2.) YVES SAINT LAURENT GLOSSY TOUCH MULTI-PURPOSE GLOSS : Makeup artists don't leave home without this multi-purpose gem in their kits, and its easy to see why. The light, unsticky, seriously-shiny gloss is perfect for smoothing out curly brows (it gives natural hold that lasts all day), blended over lids for a radiant sheen, or over lipstick. You may be thinking, "won't Vaseline do the same thing?" Well, no it won't. A face full of Vaseline is a very greasy, sweaty-looking prospect, indeed.
3.) RAMY TRIUMPH! MASCARA REVITALIZER : I've known celebrity makeup artist Ramy was a genius ever since my days as a fresh-faced beauty assistant at YM magazine. We used him for a feature where he made over my baby sis Lauren's entire high school dance team using the same five products (guess who's the best big sis ever). Who but the brilliant innovative Ramy would've come up with a clear gel that, when swiped over flaky, faded mascara, immediately adds shine and luster to lashes? Perfect for end-of-workday touch ups before going out.
4.) SMASHBOX ARCHED EYELINER BRUSH #21 : As you know, I'm deeply into working a 60's cat eye right now. Not in a huge, too-made-up way--just a skinny, SLIGHTLY winged-out-at-the-corners line. I've always had trouble making this happen with liquid eyeliners (if you don't have the precision of a surgeon, forget it). Somehow, Smashbox's new ultra-skinny, angled brush does the work for me! I dip it into a sparkly black cream eyeshadow like REVLON ILLUMINANCE CREME SHADOW IN VINTAGE CHIC, look downwards, and drag along lash line. Very ooh-la-la.
5.) CLINIQUE KOHL SHAPER FOR EYES IN BLACK KOHL: Upon first glance, you'll wonder what makes this new eye pencil so special. It has the perfect, ridiculously creamy, liquid-looking consistency of all Clinique's fabulous pencils but, hold onto your hats--a sharpener is built into the cap!! No more searching around in the bottom of your purse or makeup drawer, or having to throw away blunt pencils because you've lost the damned thing. Holla!
6.) SEPHORA MAKEUP ERASER PEN: Seriously, I've never seen anything like this pen. Wipe it over mascara smudges, travelling eyeshadow, or smeared lipstick, and the boo-boo magically disappears. No tugging, pulling or anything! If you've ever found yourself with cheeks full of sifted-down shadow particles after applying smoky eyeshadow, you'll get why this this is such a brilliant invention.

23 Comments:

Blogger MalcaJ said...

the Sephora eraser pen sounds promising i will look into it

yesssss I also am in love with the Bobby Brown show! dysfunctional black love is so beautiful.. but what was up with the lady trying to get Whitney's autograph in the steam room and then she wanted it DATED too! i hope they keep the show on

6:56 PM  
Anonymous mecca1 said...

I am beauty product challenged, it seems I never know what's good. That's why I just usually want it all. But lately I have been fascinated with playing up my eyes. Every time I go to an event where there's a free makeover, the make up artists, points out my
"almond-shaped eyes." Is that a good thing?

And yes, I tried to not watch it, but Being Bobby Brown is so addictive.

8:43 AM  
Blogger porsche said...

Being Bobby Brown is definitely a guilty pleaasure of mine. After a good hearty laugh, I find myself immediately shaking my head in disbelief. My day wouldn't be complete w/o singing "I'm Not Doing This With Him To-daaaaay". Whitney & Bobby...a match made in ghetto heaven.
And the Brow Pencil sounds exciting!

p.s Reading Accidental Diva for the second time. Love it.

1:17 AM  
Blogger Butta said...

I am all over that Sephora eraser pen. Good looking out once again!

BBB is a guity pleasure of mine as well. Hate to love it, love to hate it, can't stop watching it!

7:38 PM  
Blogger LaShaunda said...

Being Bobby Brown is one of those shows you can't believe you're watching, but you won't turn the channel.

Bobby and Whitney they need Jesus.

1:17 PM  
Blogger Cece said...

Hey Tia ~ Let me first say I love the blog! Now I desperately need your advice! I love fashion and beauty. And I don't mean in the "I can spend an hour in the drugstore" I mean in the "I keep and archive all my old magazines type of way" I have some from the early 90's from my mom. Obsessive? Yes I know. Now the problem is I really want to break into the magazine industry. I would take an unpaid internship if I could. I'm 21 but... I have a BA in Criminal Justice. There was no way my parents were gonna pay for me to study shoes all day. According to my mom I can play dress up and read magazines for free. I know I would be perfect in a beauty editor or even a fashion editor position. Any ideas on how I can break in?

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tia thanks so much for you tips. After you recommended the Redken After-Sun line I raced out and bought it for my vacation.

Your recs are always on point...."They work for me they work...."

By the way I have been reading your beauty advice since LUCKY MAG. I used to buy it just to see what you recommended.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Lauren said...

I will be going to get that eraser pen. Believe it or not, I'm just now discovering real makeup at 26. I bought my first mascara last month! (I know, that's blashpemy). Anyway, great blog.

PS: I love Bobbay and Whitney too.

3:44 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

I too ( a bit ashamed to say) am addicted to the travesty that ie "being Bobby Brown"
What is the appeal? hmmmm I just cant explain it!!!

I just finished your book!!!!

I sooooo enjoyed it!!!

Bring on Septembers trivia....i'm ALL OVER IT!!!

5:32 PM  
Blogger Schanina said...

Sweet, I won! I would like to thank the Academy. No, for real thanks Tia and your friends at Stila. I’ll be batting my eyelashes in style. Your friend Lola had killer eyelashes in that Love Heals party pic. Perhaps she will be my inspiration.

Oh, and let us all say a prayer for Bobbi Kristina. God Bless the child whose parents aren't normal.

1:05 AM  
Blogger breeJ. said...

I remember when my Pop found me watching Barbarella- he didn't know what to say about the futuristic um...scenes that 'show us' what love-making in the future holds (NO!). Anyway, I am truly appreciating the BIG eyes too! Right now I'm wearing it simple (cause I'm being horribly lazy and hitting the snooze button!): powder foundation on the lids,liquid liner in a cat-eye with some mascara on the outer lashes to make the eyes curl up just a little more in the corners...coy (so silly). I am excited about the BENEFIT HIGHBROW BROW LIFTING PENCIL. I am going to play without haste! Take care Tia-Thanks!

7:30 AM  
Blogger breeJ. said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

7:31 AM  
Anonymous kitty said...

Hi Tia,

I read your book awhile back. It was great and had me laughing out loud in public places. I love it when a book can do that. Anyway, i just discovered your blog and I am loving it!

I too love Being Bobby Brown. But I just have a couple of questions- Is that Whitney's hair? Is it a wig? I just saying, can't she look better than that by the head? Does she really have to look like that? I say Hell-to-the-naw!

4:56 PM  
Blogger Danyel said...

I want the YSL gloss.

7:53 PM  
Blogger princessdominique said...

I will look into the eraser pen too! Love this blog :)

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Brooklynisis said...

There is another product I LOVE like your BENEFIT HIGHBROW BROW LIFTING PENCIL... Anastaisia brow pencil in Sephora...

Thanks for the tips and GREAT blog gurl ;)

2:10 PM  
Blogger Shelia said...

My favorite phrase from Whitney is "Hell to the Naw."

12:34 AM  
Anonymous Karmen said...

Hi Tia~
Accidental Diva is a great book...I've read it twice, and just reading your blog makes me want to pick it up again. And by the way...I love your blog! I must admit that I love "Being Bobby Brown" also. My favorite phrase..."Hell to the Naw!" Thanks for the tips!

9:23 PM  
Anonymous Quel said...

Love your blog...am very impressed with your career path...will place your book in que on my 'to read' list.

I'm so glad I clicked in to your blog. I was like, interesting posts aaaand beauty products! Are you kidding me?! Where have you been all my blog-life?

And I haven't heard one person say they watched it and weren't instantly sprung...a BBB addict. When it comes to Being Bobby Brown...resistance if futile.

5:18 PM  
Blogger rlgirl said...

My favorite BB episdoe has to be the trip to London and ALL the shnanigans going on not only in Harrods department store but the backyard barbeque that Bobby and his brother attended in Brixton (the Harlem of London)...

I love these recomendations in this entry! Especially the brow pencil...for more great reviews and beauty recomendations check out another one of my favorite sites: http://www.palacinka.com!

11:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love all your makeup finds and tips. I've done some of my own searches on some of these products and I found this great site, www.palacinka.com, that has many of the same products and more along with reviews from many different types of women. You should check it out and thanks for turning me onto these wonderful products.

LS

11:43 AM  
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