The definition of "comeback"

Hey,
Excuse me for a second while I scream from a Brooklyn mountaintop. BRIIIIIIIIITNEEEEYYYY! WHYY, BABY, WHYYYYYY? Sweet Jesus, you were NOT ready for a comeback. Or maybe she was confused about the definition of "comeback?" One shouldn't attempt to come back from anywhere until the psychotic episodes, toddler-Dorito-feedings, and pesky drug/alcohol addiction are strctly done, done, done. Poor thing never had a chance, really. MTV shot her in the foot with that initial closeup of her willy-nilly weave tracks. Talk about "Toxic."

Here's what I loved, though: Cutie Chris Brizown and his magic feet; annoying-but-backing-up-his-swagger KANYE; Alicia Keys killing George Michael's "Freedom;" and Rhianna and Fall Out Boy's oddly thrilling rendition of "Shutup and Drive." Other than that, I'd rather watch Purple Rain for the zillionth time.


Speaking of music, though, I went to an amazing party on Saturday!!! The sexy "black Kate Moss's" from three of the hottest blogs around—Jen from The B-Life, Claire from The Fashion Bomb, and Lauren from Stereohyped (my favorite, obviously...genetics)— hosted a Fashion Week soiree on the Lower East Side that was so sexy and eventful, I actually witnessed my almost 33-year-old husband crank the Soulja Boy for about twenty minutes straight. But for our purposes, the most exciting thing about the night happened hours before the party even started. Obviously, I did both my sister's makeup (there's Devon/Brownie, Lauren and me up there, feeling very VERY). But since it was Lauren's moment, I slapped in some false lashes...and OMG. First of all, you know how I feel about a little lash, right? No matter how gorgeous or cute-challenged the face, lashes immediately turn you into a crushingly glamorous, man-killing Cleopatra. But I also know that many of you are nervous about A.) looking drag queen-ish, and B.) applying them yourself.

Well, we found a pair of lashes that solve both problems. Sephora Flirt It Lash Duo ($8) comes with two sets of lashes--one full, and one half. I used the half (the ones in the middle of the kit), because it looks waayyy more natural...and really, all you want is a little extra oomph, you know? Here's how it went down:

1.) FIrst, I did all of Lauren's eye makeup, sans mascara.
2.) I dabbed a little invisible eyelash glue (included) on the back of my hand, then dipped in the lash band. Then, I waited 30 seconds for the glue to get tacky.
3.) Lauren closed her eyes, and I carefully pressed the band to the outer corner of her lashes, as CLOSE to the natural lashline as humanly possible.
4.) Once the glue dried, I curled her lashes to marry her real ones to her fake ones, and then applied two coats of blacker-than-black mascara. Voila! Almost-effortless gorgeousness.

Seriously, it was so easy that I made Lauren do her other eye...to smashing results. Only the best for the girl who's barely five minute-old site just won a 2007 Black Weblog Award for BEST NEW BLOG!!! Yes, I know I'm obnoxious but I'm a proud big sis (imagine how overbearing I'll be when I finally reproduce). Anyway, the larger point is that the next time you have a fancy night, you must invest in these false lashes. You know I wouldn't steer you wrong. If you look crazy, my beauty advice will be rendered as silly and irrelevant as poor Nicole Scherzinger during her VMA pre-show performance. That girl really needs her kitty-cats behind her, doesn't she?

Off to Nanette Lepore!!
xoxo,
Tia